


A Very Schuyler Thanksgiving

by ofshadowsandstars



Series: Amerique [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Comfort Food, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Philip is a baby, Polyamorous Alexander Hamilton, Thanksgiving, typical thanksgiving problems, which then becomes not so fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-07 12:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8801035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofshadowsandstars/pseuds/ofshadowsandstars
Summary: All of Philip Schuyler's kids come home for Thanksgiving. They bring their significant others. It has its ups and downs.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a tumblr au! If you haven't found it already, go to americawashington.tumblr.com

“Marcus, you checked everything?” Eliza asked, fastening Philip into his carseat. “Be good for your brothers,” she whispered to Philip, gently booping his nose and handing him his favorite toy.

“He checked everything four times,” Kloe said, fastening her seatbelt.

“I’m sure he did,” Eliza said, coming through the center aisle of the car, “but I need verbal confirmation. Kloe made a “that’s fair” face as Eliza hopped out of the car and walked around into the driver’s seat. As she buckled her seatbelt, Laurens shut the trunk (quietly, so not to disturb Philip) and walked around to the front passenger seat.

“Remind me why I’m in the back?” Alexander grumbled, holding the door open so Marcus and the younger Alex could take their seats in the very back, on either side of Philip.

“Because you’re useful, but not that useful,” Laurens deadpanned.

Marcus spoke before Alexander could reply. “I made sure we have everything, Ma. Extra stuff for Philip, warm clothes, my weighted blanket, Kloe’s retainer, your phone charger. The cooler is full of everything we need for dinner, and I helped Alex-”

“He means me,” the younger Alex clarified.

“-pack to make sure he didn’t forget anything. Same with Kloe. And I’ve got food and milk for Philip with me.”

Eliza grinned at him through the rearview mirror. “My sweet boy. Good job, Marcus. Alright, then. Let’s hit the road!”

Kloe whooped enthusiastically as the car pulled out onto the street. “This weekend is gonna be so much fun!”

“Well, it was until you said that,” Laurens said. “Now we’re all going to leave miserable and tired.”

“Nope!” Kloe said defiantly, sitting up straighter and squaring her shoulders, but maintaining her sweet, youthful smile. “I refuse to be upset or allow anything to ruin my Thanksgiving.”

“That may be out of your control,” Marcus said, leaning forward to get a better look at his sister. “Angelica is bringing her beau.”

“She’s _what_?” Alexander squawked. He grabbed the back of Laurens’ seat and pushed his head into the space between the driver and front passenger seat. “Why wasn’t I told about this?”

Eliza sighed. “You were, Alexander. Dad insisted on everyone coming home this year, and said that significant others wouldn’t get in the way of it. Hence why you and John are here and not in Mount Vernon.”

“And what, no one else was stupid enough to invite Jefferson?”

“You say that like he’s the only one coming. Peggy’s bringing Maria, Jeremy and Church are driving up together with Moony, and Angelica is _still_ going to be there. He doesn’t overshadow her existence, you know.”

“If anything, it’s the other way around,” Alex the younger argued.

“That’s just what she does,” said Laurens. “Peggy once got into a fight with Neil DeGrasse Tyson over whether or not the universe rotates around Angelica. Peggy was on space’s side.”

Kloe bounced happily in her seat. “This is going to be _so_ much fun.”

* * *

Careful not to disturb the sleeping baby, Eliza liberated Philip’s car seat from the seat belt holding it and handed it to Alexander. 

“I’m giving you precious cargo so you don’t go picking fights right away,” she said, closing the car door behind her. Alexander sighed, but made no protest. 

“What’s this about precious cargo?” Philip Schuyler’s voice boomed as he came down the gravel driveway, arms open as Kloe and Marcus ran up to give him a hug. “Oh, is it this?” he asked, pointing to the two teenagers hugging him. “Well, I’ve got this all taken care of. I will guard it to the end of my days. Hand to God, Betsey.”

Eliza laughed. “Daddy, I was talking about the baby, not the Babs.” 

Philip Schuyler made a disappointed face. “Ah, I see. Can I keep these anyways?” He asked hopefully. Marcus had already let go, but Kloe giggled and snuggled further into her adopted grandfather’s side.

Eliza smiled fondly at the sight. “For the weekend, yes. After that, they gotta come home with me. Sorry, Pops.”

“No she’s not,” Laurens stage-whispered, coming to stand next to Alexander. Eliza shot him a non-threatening glare, which he refuted with a cheeky smile. “Senator Schuyler, it’s good to finally meet you.” Laurens walked towards Philip Schuyler, who was already prepared with an outstretched hand.

Schuyler shook Laurens’ hand firmly. “Likewise, mister Laurens. From what I’ve heard about you from Peggy and seen of your show, you’re nothing like I remember your father being.”

Laurens grinned from ear to ear. “Sir, I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

Schuyler laughed heartily. “Please, call me Philip. ‘Sir’ is too formal. I think we’re going to be good friends, you and I.” He clapped Laurens on the back and turned to face Alexander, Eliza, and the kids. “You guys don’t need to unpack just yet, by the way. You’ve been driving all day; I don’t want you to be more tired.”

Kloe whooped, having dreaded carrying her suitcase up several flights of stairs. “Thanks, Pops! Who else is here, anyways?”

“John, PJ, Peggy, and her girlfriend. And the dog. John’s dog. I got a text about ten minutes ago; Angie should be about a half hour away by now.”

“Just Angelica?” Alexander asked hopefully.

Schuyler shook his head, holding in a chuckle. “Nope. Sorry to rain on your parade, but he’s still coming.”

Alexander sighed. “All right, then. Let’s head inside. I bet Kloe’s dying to give the tour.”

“That I am!” Kloe agreed, grabbing Laurens and Alex the younger’s hands and running inside, effortlessly dragging them behind her. “This house is the coolest!”

* * *

As she walked through the front door to her father’s house, Angelica was greeted by the world’s happiest beagle. Moony rain around and between her legs with his tail wagging violently. Laughing, Angelica walked forward carefully, making room for her boyfriend to come through the door without stepping on Moony. Once Jefferson was inside and the door was shut, Angelica knelt down and scratched Moony behind the ears, delighting in the way his little face lit up. She allowed him to give her two kisses on the face before standing up right as Church came in. 

“There they are!” he said, coming up to give Angelica a hug and shake Jefferson’s hand. “Everyone’s hanging out in the kitchen. Oh, and the closet’s right there,” he pointed to his left. “For your coat, Jefferson.”

Thomas thanked Church and, after putting away his coat, followed Angelica through her father’s house to the kitchen. Church had not been exaggerating when he said everyone was there. It was a large kitchen with lots of standing room. All the Schuylers in name (save Angelica, for obvious reasons) were monitoring some food item or another. Two of Eliza’s kids were talking to Peggy, who was gesturing animatedly with one hand while mixing what appeared to be a pot of mashed potatoes. The third was sitting on a corner of the counter, reading a book, and the baby was bouncing happily on the hip of Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, thankfully, had his back turned for the moment. Thomas took a moment to take a deep breath in preparation. Angelica bumped her hand against his.  _ You’ll live, don’t worry.  _ At this point he couldn’t tell if the soothing female voice was Angelica’s or Martha’s. They had begun to blend together in the past months.

“About damn time!” Peggy said, abandoning her post to go hug her elder sister. 

Eliza, too, rushed over to greet Angelica. Thomas stepped aside self-consciously. It was already too awkward. Church gave him a pitying look. “It’s always like this,” Church whispered. “Don’t worry, it’s not you.”

“I heard that,” Angelica said in an irritated tone, still hugging Eliza.

Church shrugged. “Well, excuse me for trying to be helpful.”

“Aww, Churchy’s  _ soo _ sweet,” Peggy teased, pinching Church’s cheek. She turned her bright smile - the one you only saw around friends or family - to Thomas, and he instinctively took a half step back. Noticing the movement, Peggy laughed. “No need to be worried, silly. I don’t bite on holidays. C’mon; selfie time.” And before Thomas could fully compute it, Peggy had pulled out her phone, gotten right next to him, and snapped a picture. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Feeling like a child at one of his father’s big parties, Thomas simply shook his head. Peggy seemed to like that answer.

“Thomas, have you ever met my kids?” Eliza asked, having unwound herself from Angelica.

“Not officially, no. But I’ve heard plenty about them,” he replied, thankful his voice was working properly.

Eliza smiled. It was unnerving how purely  _ good  _ her smile was. Her whole face was kindness and compassion, and for the hundredth time, Thomas wondered how on earth Hamilton ever managed to woo someone like Eliza Schuyler. 

“Well, now’s as good a time as any,” Eliza said, shaking Thomas out of his thoughts. “Over there is Kloe,”

“Hi!” the girl said, grinning and waving.

“And next to her is Alex.” The boy was less enthusiastic as his sister, but he did wave and smile slightly. “Marcus is over there,” she pointed to the boy in the corner. He raised his hand in greeting, but refused to look up from his book. “And Philip is...” Eliza turned around to see Hamilton still standing with  his back to Thomas. The baby’s head was peeking up over Hamilton’s shoulder. Eliza sighed. “Well, there’s his face. Dad, do you mind?”

“Not at all,” Philip Schuyler said. He walked up to Hamilton, grabbed onto his shoulders, and flipped him around. As per usual, his disdain was clear on his face, but it was slightly cancelled out by the adorableness of the baby he was holding.

“There he is,” Eliza said, now satisfied. 

Philip Schuyler the elder came up and shook Thomas’ hand. “Sorry about that,” he whispered.

Thomas shrugged. “I probably would have done the same, given the option.”

Hamilton opened his mouth, but was (thankfully) interrupted by the slamming of a screen door. John Laurens and the eldest - and only - Schuyler son (Jeremiah? Jeremy? Maybe both?) came into the kitchen carrying a large tray between the two of them.

“Dead bird coming through!” Laurens called, looking to his sides as he walked backwards into the kitchen. Moving quickly but deliberately, Laurens and Philip Jeremiah (if Thomas remembered correctly) came into the kitchen and placed the large tray, which presumably contained the turkey, on the kitchen island. Once it was in place, both the men took a step back and breathed a satisfied sigh of relief.

“And you’re sure it’s done?” Eliza asked, walking over to the island to inspect the turkey.

Laurens nodded firmly. “The dead bird is now edibly dead!”

Kloe wrinkled her nose. “Do you have to say it like that?”

“Yep!” Laurens replied cheerfully. “Is everything else done?”

Peggy did a quick look around the kitchen and nodded. “Cranberry sauce, potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, stuffing, rolls, and ham are all ready to go. And the pies just need to be heated up, so we’re all set. I think Maria just finished setting the table, so everyone can grab a dish and start moseying on over for dinner.” 

Angelica raised an eyebrow in surprise. “You guys got everything done already? We’ve been here three minutes!”

Jeremy shrugged. “There’s a lot more of us this year. Besides, both Dad and Eliza prepped stuff way in advance.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being prepared!” Eliza declared as she went into the dining room, carrying a tray of green bean casserole. Kloe and the younger Alexander followed behind her like ducklings, each carrying their own tray.”

Angelica put her hand on Thomas’ shoulder. “C’mon,” she said gently, “before the food gets cold.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go downhill way too quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for mentions of infidelity, depressive/suicidal thoughts, and bad puns.

“So, seeing as we've got five new faces at the table this year, I think it's important that we get a few things straight,” Philip Schuyler said, taking his seat at the head of the table.

Laurens raised his hand as if he were a student trying to get his teacher's attention. “Yeah, I think we're gonna have a problem on that front.”

Everyone at the table let out at least a giggle (even baby Philip, who was just happy), save Peggy, who groaned.

“I knew he was gonna say that,” she muttered, shaking her head. “He always makes that pun.”

Maria looked at her girlfriend incredulously. “Babe, you make that same pun as often as you can.”

“It was how she came out,” Angelica informed, reaching for the bowl of mashed potatoes. “But what Dad was going to say is that he wants to know what you - by which I mean our newbies - like to be called, especially seeing as we now have two Alexanders and two Johns.”

“Can we start passing food around now?” Peggy interrupted. Philip Schuyler nodded, and hands began flying, reaching for plates and passing them to the next person with ease.

“Well,” Laurens said, heaping food onto his plate, “I go by a number of names. Usually it's John, but I'm respecting Church's position as the family John, so Laurens is fine. Or Jack, if you want. It's what my siblings always called me.”

“Past tense?” Maria asked curiously.

Laurens nodded. “They're all a good deal younger than me, and I left home the minute I turned eighteen and got my inheritance, so I haven't really seen them since. Occasionally I'll see them on TV if my father is trying to win likability points, but I'm sure he's brainwashed them against me or whatever at this point.”

Philip Schuyler snorted. “Sounds like something he’d try to do. But I don’t think Jack suits you, son. I’ll just stick to Laurens. God knows I never call your father by his surname.”

“God knows how long it’s been since someone called me ‘son’,” Laurens shot back with a laugh.

“Speaking of son,” Eliza interrupted, “I’ve got more with me this year.”

As Eliza spoke, all eyes at the table moved to the teenaged Alexander, who was in the middle of a forkful of mashed potatoes. He froze mid-chew at the attention.

“Hi,” he said sheepishly, muffled by the potatoes. Realizing how rude and/or ridiculous he must look, Alex swallowed quickly and straightened up. “Um, I’m Alexander, obviously. Most people just call me Alex, though. I really don’t care that much.”

Philip Schuyler looked to Hamilton, silently asking his opinion. Hamilton shrugged.

“No one really calls me that anymore. We’ve established it at home. And, to save time, the baby is either Philip or Phil, with the word ‘baby’ occasionally put in front of either name. Peggy’s lovely girlfriend there is Maria Reynolds, and she goes by nothing but Maria,”

“That’s true,” Maria interjected, nodding.

“And then over there sitting next to the ever-spectacular Angelica is the living incarnation of-”

“ _Alexander!”_ Angelica and Eliza both said his name at the same time in identical warning tones.

Laurens had his head in his hands, trying to hide from the world (or, at least the one where he was dating Alexander Hamilton). Marcus and Maria both flinched at the sudden increase in volume. Shaking off the initial panic, the latter was able to take a deep breath and resume to normal. Marcus, however, was still in his recoiled position, breath trembling. Kloe pulled her signature plumeria flower out of her hair and extended it to her brother. Surprisingly gentle, he snatched it away and inhaled its scent deeply. He ran his fingers over the petals, admiring the texture and tracing the places where white turned to yellow and vice versa. It took a few minutes, but Marcus managed to put down the flower and go back to eating. No one looked at him strange or tried to intervene. They just let him be.

Or so Marcus thought. He couldn’t see the warning glare Eliza was giving everyone at the table. _Don’t do anything to my baby or I hurt you_ , it said.

* * *

 “So, before folks got here, I found out something interesting about miss Reynolds over here,” Philip Schuyler said, looking up from the piece of turkey he was cutting. “If you don’t mind me sharing, that is.”

Maria looked slightly embarrassed, but nodded and said, “Go ahead,” nonetheless.

Schuyler gave her a grateful smile. “Well, I didn’t realize how close-knit we all seem to be. Apparently, way back in the day, Maria here employed the services of one mister Aaron Burr.”

There were dual sounds of silverware hitting porcelain. Hamilton and Jefferson had both dropped their silverware at the first mention of Burr.

“Do you want to ruin my appetite?” Hamilton demanded. “I understand that you feel the need to start conversation, but the weather is preferable to Burr! We’re eating, for chrissakes!” Despite the sudden burst of energy, he still managed to stay relatively quiet and kept from flailing too much. The only thing worse than talking about Burr at dinner was facing Eliza’s rage for frightening Marcus.

“Yeah, I’m with him on this one,” Jefferson said, refusing to look anyone in the eye.

“I really don’t understand the resentment,” Jeremy said with a sigh. “He’s a nice guy. A bit closed-off and fake happy sometimes, but you gotta remember that he’s married to Theodosia Prevost. That woman would _not_ stand for someone dull or awful.”

Hamilton snorted. “You should have seen him pre-Theodosia. There was a whole sequoia tree up his ass.”

Maria rolled her eyes. “Well, it made him a damn good lawyer. That’s all I’m saying.”

“What did you hire Burr for?” Church asked curiously. “If it’s not bad or anything, that is.”

She shrugged. “I mean, it depends on your stance. But, in all honesty, he was my lawyer when I got divorced. The whole shebang with my ex I don’t talk about, but just know that he was a douche that made money off of scamming other people and I was glad to see the back of him.”

Peggy frowned. “I don’t remember Burr doing divorces at his firm.”

“It wasn’t,” Maria said. “At his firm, I mean. Not long after he passed the bar, he got a job at a local firm. They didn’t generally do divorces, either, but he made it work to get me mine.”

“Didn’t you work at that firm?” Church asked Hamilton, who shifted uncomfortably before nodding.

“Yeah, for like, six months before I quit.”

Church squinted suspiciously. “The firm where you worked with Burr?”

“Yeah.”

“Fresh out of law school?”

“Yes.”

“Practically interning?”

“Yes.”

“Right after you passed the bar exam?”

“Yes,” Hamilton was starting to get annoyed. “So what, John?”

“You got fired from that place!” he cried, holding in laughter.

“I did not! I quit!”

“Because they were going to fire you!”

“Why would they fire me?”

“Why would you quit?” Church shot back, certain he was victorious.

Hamilton frowned grumpily. “I was too good for that place.”

Angelica snorted, taking a sip of wine. “That’s certainly one way to put it.”

Jefferson frowned, looking between Hamilton, Church, and Angelica. “Okay, I’m confused.”

Setting down her glass with a smirk, Angelica explained. “Remember the black cat the Washingtons have?”

Jefferson nodded hesitantly. “The semi-feral one that hits on all the other cats?”

Hamilton made an undignified noise, but a withering glare from Angelica silenced him. “That’s the one. Anyway, Martie named him after this one,” she gestured to Alexander, “because of his habits.”

“Now, that’s an exaggeration-” Hamilton began, before he was cut off again.

“And those habits got him in trouble at the firm where he was working. A little birdie told him the bigwigs were planning on firing mister tomcat over here, so he quit to, supposedly, spare his pride.”

_“Il a couché avec un client?”_ Jefferson asked in disbelief.

“You know, I’m not sure if it’s more rude in French,” Hamilton said. Although, at this point, no one else was paying attention to what he was saying. Especially Eliza’s kids, who were focusing on eating and absolutely nothing else.

Laurens frowned. He pointed between Hamilton and Eliza. “Didn’t you guys get married way before you graduated?”

Both were suddenly very occupied with their dinner.

Laurens’ frown deepened. “Okay, what am I missing?”

“Yeah, they were,” Church began hastily, “but we had all just found out. This is the thing I told you about, remember?”

Recalling their conversation from not a month previously, Laurens nodded slowly. Woman with an abusive husband. Asking for help, no one else would see her. Husband ended up blackmailing Alexander. Went on for months.

“You _told_ him?” Alexander cried, wide-eyed in disbelief. Even Eliza and Angelica looked surprised.

Church gave him a hard look. “Someone had to.”

They began to bicker back and forth. Marcus began to panic. Kloe gently escorted him out of the room. Alex followed, carrying baby Philip with him. Jefferson and Jeremy were both looking between the different people at the table, trying to make sense of what was going on. Maria was looking down at her hands uncomfortably. Meanwhile, Laurens’ brain was running at a hundred miles a minute, piecing together everything going on. _Something’s not right,_ he thought, scanning the room. Angelica to Jeremy to Alexander to Jefferson to Philip to Peggy to…. _Maria_. Peggy had told him bits of Maria’s past. Abusive husband who was basically her pimp, barely escaped going to jail for his illegal dealings on multiple occasions.

“Was it you?” Laurens asked loudly.

All the voices around the table went silent. All eyes were on John.

“What did you say?” Eliza asked quietly.

He looked at Maria. She met his eyes nervously. Laurens wasn’t sure what she saw, but he felt on the verge of screaming and crying and punching someone and jumping off a cliff. “It was you, wasn’t it,” he said. Laurens was like a rubber band stretched to its last fibre. Tense, about to snap, and everyone is waiting for the sting.

Maria’s eyes were starting to glisten over with tears. “Funny how things like this happen, isn’t it?” she said, choking on a sob. “Trust me, it wasn’t easy.”

“Something sure as hell was,” Laurens growled, pushing back his chair and storming outside into the autumn cold. He faintly heard of the creak of chairs being pushed back, but not of footsteps following.

_Not enough not enough not enough not enough_ , a voice in his head taunted. Laurens started running, trying to get away from the awfulness of it all. He ran until he reached the lakeside. Shaking - perhaps from shock or the cold or both - he sat down with a thud.

_“Life’s weird, ain’t it, Jack?”_ a familiar female voice whispered in his ear. Images flashed before his eyes. Jet black hair with eyes to match and golden brown skin, a petite body wrapped in white silk…

“Go away, Martha,” he muttered.

_“Oh, come on. What are the odds, Jack? Your best friend’s girlfriend happens to be your boyfriend’s former mistress.”_

“I don’t need this from you.”

_“But it’s been so long since we talked! Do you think Eliza knew. Hell, do you think Peggy knew?”_

“You expect me to know? Clearly, I don’t know shit about Alexander.”

He could almost hear the tap-tap-tap of fingers on the knee that would occur whenever Martha was thinking hard.

_“You know he loves you.”_

“He’s got Eliza. Who needs me when you’ve got a saint?”

_“He didn’t tell you for a reason.”_

“Because he’s an asshole. I told him everything, Mare. _Everything_ . About you, about my dad, about Frances - both ours and the one in Switzerland, mind you. He told me about his brother, his mom, his cousin, his shitty-ass dad, the things he had to do to survive. Some of those were ugly, Martha. I accepted that he was angry. I accepted that he was married but I couldn’t tell anyone. I accepted that there would be minimal stability because I could feel in every ounce of my soul that he was _mine_. I knew he was a playboy way back when, but I didn’t ever think of the possibility of him cheating on me. But if Eliza, the most perfect human being on the planet, wasn’t enough for him, what’s to say I am? What’s to say he hasn’t already gotten bored of me?”

Martha Manning had no answer for him this time. John Laurens looked out at the water of the lake and wondered how quickly it would make him go numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave comments/constructive criticism, and I'll get back to you as fast as I can!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy comes to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's just feelings, really.

“I brought you pie,” Peggy said. “I wasn’t sure which you’d feel like, so I got a slice of each.”

Laurens was still on the beach of the lake, staring out at the dark, glassy water. He had pulled his knees to his chest in an attempt to make himself either warmer or smaller, if not both. Even as she sat down next to him, he refused to look at Peggy.

Sighing, Peggy set the plate down next to her. No one was going to be feeling like pie for a while. 

“Eliza feels like it’s her fault,” Peggy said quietly, looking down at the stones beneath her feet. “You getting upset,” she clarified, “not what happened all those years ago: that was all Alexander. You’ve been insecure lately - don’t deny it, we all know - and Eliza thinks it’s because of her.”

“He cheated on Eliza,” Laurens said hoarsely, tears glistening in his eyes. “The sweetest, kindest, most selfless person on the planet. And he cheated on her. What’s to say he won’t do it again? What’s to say he won’t do it to me, assuming he hasn’t already! How am I supposed to trust him after this?”

Peggy shrugged. “You could always have him microchipped. Or neutered. Or both.”

There was a tense silence as a fourth option hung in the air. Both were afraid to say it, though they knew the other was thinking it.

In the end, it was Laurens who broke the silence. “Or I break up with him.” The look on his face was devastating. “I don’t want to leave him, and I don’t want to be around him, either.”

“Trust me, I know the feeling.” Peggy threw a stone out into the water. It made an unsatisfactory splash. “I used to love my brother, you know. Jeremy. He was my best friend, my other half. As we got older, we drifted apart some, but we were still pretty close. I met Church when I was six, so between him and Jeremy, I didn’t really need Angie and Liza. Eliza was the tomboy and I loved my brothers. The same thing went for Alexander. Crazy or not, I loved him right away. He was another brother to add to my collection, and he was just as sweet to me as the rest. Aside from Jeremy, he was the first person I came out to, and I talked to him on how to come out to the rest of my family. For years, I told Alexander Hamilton  _ everything _ . I confided in him like no one else, and he seemed to make everything better. And then when I found out what he did to my big sister, it broke my heart into a thousand pieces. I didn’t talk to him for fifteen months after.” John looked up at her in surprise. Fifteen months was a very long time to be mad at someone. 

“I never confided in any of my brothers ever again,” Peggy admitted. “Jeremy and I fought over my particularly aggressive feelings towards Alex in the aftermath of the affair, and we haven’t gotten along since.

“You know, Eliza knew who Maria was right from the beginning. And she told her, and she told me. Eliza told Maria that she forgave her, that she was welcome in our family. A part of me wanted to run screaming when I found out what past Maria had done, but another part of me reminded that it was in the past, when she had an abusive husband and no money. And then I looked at her and I knew how much I needed to be with her, so I stayed. I managed to put it aside, and I decided to think about trying to repair my relationship with my brother.”

John sighed heavily. “Here’s the issue, Peg. You’ve had  _ years _ to deal with this. I’ve had a few weeks, and it never felt  _ real  _ until now.”

Peggy threw another stone into the water. She sighed heavily. “John, I’m around you at least four days out of the week. We’ve been working together for five years. Don’t bullshit me on this. It’s felt real from the moment you found out, and now it’s staring you in the face and you don't know what to do.”

“I want to go home, Peg,” John croaked. “I just wanna go home.”

Peggy leaned her head on his shoulder. “Hamilton agreed to go back to New York tonight. He was gonna take the train, but now something came up at NS and Angelica is gonna drive him despite being pissed at him. With Jefferson, by the way, if that makes you feel any better. She refused to let Church do it, which means she’s  _ crazy  _ pissed. He’s gonna suffer plenty, don’t worry.”

“I don’t want him to suffer,” Laurens muttered. “I just want to know why.”

Peggy snorted. “There’s a thirty thousand word email depicting all his reasons why, honey. You’re gonna need to be more specific.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“Oh. Well, that one’s easy. He’s crazy about you. And feelings kind of snuck up on him in your case, which they never do, and he rolled with it, which he never does. He was so paranoid about doing anything to upset you or drive you away that he buried the affair as much as he could. It’s not as bad as other crap he’s done, before you say it, but that wasn’t about him as a person; it was about him as a boyfriend. He just wants you to trust him, John. So he lied.”

Laurens digested what Peggy had said, then decided he didn’t want to talk about it. “I didn’t mean home to New York. I mean Carolina. I wanna see my old house, my siblings, my mom’s grave.” He hesitated, breathing shakily. “Frances’s, too. And Martha. God, I miss Martha. At the end of it all, she was my best friend, y’know?”

Peggy turned a stone over in her hand. “You don’t have to go back to that place to see her. You don’t ever have to go back there at all.”

“I know. I just want to ask her what it felt like when I came out to her. If I hurt her this bad.”

“You were teenagers, John. Everything hurts more.”

They spent several more minutes sitting there, huddled together in silence. Laurens was taking deep breaths, trying to keep away the tears that were threatening to come. Eventually, he let it go, and warm salt water poured down his face, tracing his freckles on their way down. His breath steamed in the cold. Peggy watched the short bursts of cloud that took over one another as he sobbed. She let out long breaths to watch how much farther it went, how it mingled with his.

“You know,” he said eventually, “I think I’d like that pie.”

Peggy laughed. “Well, these slices have definitely gone cold by now. Wanna go back inside to heat them up?”

“Not particularly,” he admitted.

One step ahead of him, Peggy pulled out her phone from inside her jacket. “Angelica texted me ten minutes ago. They’re gone.”

“They were the last to get here. They’ve been here an hour, tops.”

“Eh. Jefferson was uncomfortable as hell and Angie hates this holiday. It worked out. Trust me, she doesn’t mind.”

“Alright, fine. Where’s Maria?”

“Hiding, probably. You wanna talk to her?”

John nodded. Peggy stood up and gave him a hand up. She picked up the plate of cold pie slices.

“Coolio. Come on, loser. Let’s get some damn pie and talk about our feelings.”

“You know, it was a good idea until you mentioned that last part.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave kudos, comments, and constructive criticism (if you feel I need it)!


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